


Tear The Petals

by GotTheSilver



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-24
Updated: 2013-03-24
Packaged: 2017-12-06 07:10:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GotTheSilver/pseuds/GotTheSilver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for <a href="http://trope-bingo.dreamwidth.org/">Trope Bingo</a>.</p><p> <i>Ever since she walked out of the woods, Lydia has seen her life through a haze.  It doesn’t make any sense.  There’s flashes; fangs and red eyes.  She doesn’t think she’s going mad - she’s Lydia Martin - but she can’t be sure.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Tear The Petals

**Author's Note:**

> Trope: Mind Control.
> 
> Please note, this is about Lydia throughout season two where she had Peter Hale playing with her mind. If this is triggery in any way, tread carefully.
> 
> Title from Hole - Petals.

Ever since she walked out of the woods, Lydia has seen her life through a haze. It doesn’t make any sense. There’s flashes; fangs and red eyes. She doesn’t think she’s going mad - she’s Lydia Martin - but she can’t be sure.

It worries her.

-

Jackson doesn’t want her. He yells at her, he pushes her around and she doesn’t break. She can cope with that. It’s the least of her problems.

-

Allison talks Lydia into joining her, Scott and Stiles at the ice rink. Stiles talks a lot. Lydia knows he worships her, it’s how things should be. It makes her feel like maybe there’s nothing wrong with her.

There are flowers on the ice and she follows them. There’s a body under the ice and no - no she’s not seeing that, she’s not. It’s horrific, she’s dreaming, she must be.

Lydia can’t remember getting home.

-

Did she smash the mirror? There’s blood all over her hands and all over her sheets, but she can’t _remember_ and that bothers her. Lydia doesn’t want to see Ms. Morrell, but she has to. Her mother makes her.

-

The boy outside Ms. Morrell’s office is strange, but familiar. Lydia thinks maybe she’s met him before, but it’s a thought that flits into a far corner of her brain and she can’t quite grasp at it. He talks to her like he wants to know her. Lydia doesn’t like it.

-

Lydia knows she’s smart, plays on the fact that no one else knows it. She’s not sure she’s fooling Ms. Morrell.

-

She sits in her car and cries because things keep happening and she doesn’t understand any of it. She wants to. Lydia has gone over things in her head so many times and she still can’t understand what has been happening. No one is talking to her. No one is telling her anything and it’s making her crazy.

Lydia hates that Stiles saw her cry. She’s meant to be perfect in his eyes, not broken.

-

Stiles doesn’t come back to the car.

-

The leather twins keep acting strange around her. Everyone keeps acting strange around her. They’re in class and she’s working the problem on the board, but people keep laughing and she doesn’t know why. Lydia hates this. She hates not knowing what is going on in her own mind.

-

Allison tells her to stay away from the leather twins, but doesn’t tell her why. Or - maybe she did? Lydia thinks she’s losing time. It bothers her.

The leather twins don’t do anything to her in class to hurt her, but everyone freaks out.

-

She goes to see Ms. Morrell. Rorschach tests get thrown at her and she’s so over this. Lydia is even more over the way her alleged friends keep not talking to her. They just shuffle her to and from places, and why does Jackson even care now?

-

His key. He just wanted his key back. Lydia’s heart aches because Jackson asking that means he really does think this is over. She lies, refuses and he keeps talking about a tape and she has no idea what on earth he’s going on about. She hasn’t _done_ anything.

-

There’s absolute insanity around her. People keep fighting, Jackson has vanished and Derek Hale is lurking outside the house. How has she ended up here? When did this become her life?

-

Allison still doesn’t tell her anything. Just talks about Scott. As if that has anything to do with what Lydia has been going through. As if any of that matters to Lydia. She just wants to understand what is going on in her own mind. It’s terrifying not to know her own mind.

-

That boy turns up again. Outside her _house_ with her _dog_. He says he lives near her, but she can’t - she doesn’t know if that’s true. Lydia doesn’t _know_ and she’s scared. He gives her a flower. It’s not the strangest thing a boy has ever done for her, but she’s intrigued.

-

Stiles checks on her. Apologizes for ditching her at the game. She can’t bring herself to care when he leaves.

-

Allison uses her to translate something totally ridiculous that she claims is for some kind of online role playing thing. It’s a flimsy lie and it hurts that Allison can’t be bothered to think of something better, that she blows her off when Lydia asks to talk. Her best friend doesn’t care.

-

She’s done. Stiles fires questions at her about Jackson’s bio-parents and she’s done with it all. If no one will answer her questions, she’s not answering theirs.

-

The boy comes back, asks her about the flower. She can’t find it, and there’s nothing there when she looks for one to replace it. Lydia goes to meet him anyway.

-

It’s horrific. Lydia can’t take it in. She knew there was something else, something _wrong_ with her after she came out of the woods. No one listened to her, no one cared, and now she’s in a burnt out house with a dead man talking to her. Controlling her.

-

She’s terrified.

-

He goes on and on about the moon, about her birthday, and her party. Lydia doesn’t want to do anything he says, but - she has to. She can feel him inside her, in her mind and it’s beyond description. It hurts.

-

Lydia puts a face on, the face everyone knows, and gets the party together. The punch, it’s all in the punch and everyone has to drink it for this to work. She’s not in control. She’s screaming against the wall in her brain.

-

She leaves the chaos behind and she ends up at the abandoned train warehouse. Inside, she’s scared, no idea what she’s doing, why she’s there. Lydia watches her hand come up to blow purple, glittery powder into Derek Hale’s face.

-

It’s like watching from behind a tv screen. Her body is doing these things, bringing Derek to the house, forcing claws into his arm and she can’t stop it - she wants to scream.

-

If she thinks about it too much, she’ll actually go mad. She’s had her mind taken apart and played with and she - her mind is her everything, her secret weapon and to have someone do that - no. Lydia tries, so hard, to put it out of her mind. She goes to the game and sits with Stiles’ family, cheers him on and tries to be who she was.

-

Then. Jackson. He - did she do this? She can’t be sure of anything. He’s _gone_ and she doesn’t understand again.

-

She needs to give him back the key. He was so insistent, she refused and now, maybe, if she does this. When they don’t let her see him, she throws her phone to the ground and cries.

-

Lydia ends up at Stiles’ house and she cries there as well. Stiles is so patient with her that she wonders why it is she can’t go for a guy like him. Why she has to fall for the Jacksons of the world because it’s true, she still loves Jackson. Her mind has been played with so much lately that she needs to cling to the one truth she knows. She loves Jackson.

She tells Stiles she doesn’t remember much, and it’s only half a lie. Lydia doesn’t remember because she’s trying so hard to forget.

Ms. Morrell would probably call it denial.

Stiles yells at her and she hates him for it.

-

She’s walking through the streets aimlessly, no idea where to go when Stiles pulls up alongside her. He apologizes over and over, in ever more ridiculous ways until she gets into the jeep with him.

-

Lydia climbs out of the jeep and - whatever she’s seeing, it’s Jackson, she knows it’s Jackson. She steps closer, holds the key out like an offering and he stares at it, like he knows it - knows _her_. But then - he steps back, like he’s a sacrifice and this can’t happen again, it can’t. She’s lost him so many times already. When they stab him, she feels it.

She holds him and tells him she loves him. It’s the truth she’s clung to throughout everything that’s happened.

-

When he comes back to life, Lydia’s convinced she’s going mad again. Sure that someone is still inside her brain, still playing, twisting her thoughts up until she doesn’t know anything. But everyone else sees it as well, so maybe - maybe she’s not going mad. Maybe she’s the only one inside her mind now.

Maybe it’s finally over.

-

She has no idea what will come next. But she knows one thing for certain; she’s Lydia Martin and she’s going to be fine.


End file.
